Of hotdogs & peglegs

I'm reminded yet again why I'm doing what I'm doing! Let me clarify: I just had another session with my client today, and it went really well. Not only did he rock it out, but I felt like I accomplished what I set out to do. Admittedly, I still felt hesitant during the session, but after getting feedback from my supervisor, it gave me confirmation and more confidence in what I'm doing. In fact, she even commented on how my approach addressed some issues that I had not originally even intended it to, but that it was beneficial in the end. I don't mean to sound so cryptic, but that's the nature of my job (HIPAA). I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I came into today's session with some goals, and I accomplished them & then some.

We also got our first exams back today. Unfortunately, I didn't do so hot in that... surprisingly, though, I'm not too phased. I think I'm still riding this post-session high, hehe! Perhaps not the best approach, but with how crazy school has been, at least let me indulge in this glowing moment of accomplishment, hee!

Disbelief

Sometimes I feel like such an imposter in grad school. Today, we had our first midterm for our "Childhood Articulation and Phonological Disorders" class, which we were all equally stressing about. Still, my being overwhelmed must've been apparent because a few of my classmates commented on it. I know I was stressed because for one reason or another, I didn't study as much as I would've liked. That's natural. But I think on top of that, I have this secret, underlying anxiety and sometimes I wonder how I got in.

For instance, studying with some of my classmates today and in the past, I feel that though everyone is more or less struggling, that they have their study habits down and can retain information easily. There's some stroke of genius amongst my peers. I think I lack that. Ever since I could remember, my grades and performance in school have been decent because of working really hard to achieve what seems like par for others. Like, for example, in middle school, I was that kid who stayed up til 2 in the morning to complete what my classmates did til 900p.

Granted, I don't want to sound dramatic here. To be fair, I've been warned that this is a common feeling/insecurity felt by first year grad students the world round. But I guess I've always felt pretty slow, and that was really apparent today. That's what makes me wonder how I got to where I am because it seems like most people need a balance of natural genius and hard work. I worry that being older, I just don't have the energy I use to to work hard and if I don't have that, what am I left with? Perhaps this is a sign that I need to start drinking coffee... nnggg.

Gap face

I was really hoping for this weekend to be productive, and it certainly started that way, but man am I exhausted right now! I've still barely had anytime to study for my exam this Monday and I was hoping to get some in now, but I've been entertaining a kid and that's exhausting. Did I mention that I don't even like kids? So trying to entertain one is like working at the mall: you pretend to enjoy what you're doing to make people you don't even like happy. It's mentally draining, but I suppose I'm at least getting good practice for when I'm gonna have to work with kids in the clinic.

First session done!

I saw my first client today! Obviously, I can't give away too much because that'd be a serious violation of HIPAA, but what I can say is that it actually went pretty well. What I hadn't anticipated, however, was how long the work post-session would be, yikes! You spend so much time and energy preparing, lesson planning, gathering materials, and nervously anticipating for this moment. Once it's passed, you feel amazing and accomplished and then all that adrenaline that was driving you vanishes, and swoosh, now comes the crash. Or lull. However you wanna put it.

But don't crash too fast, oh no. Unfortunately, you can't celebrate because you have SOAP notes to submit, transcriptions, collecting & double checking data, all on top of papers to be written and articles to be read/studied in preparation for quizzes for other classes tomorrow. And more specifically in my case, I already have to write the next session's lesson plan. I was just thinking how nice a nap would be or how therapeutic knitting a couple more tentacles on my cuttlefish sounds... but not tonight. Oh grad school--what have I gotten myself into? :p

Hurrah!

I have a new apartment, and a cute one to boot! It's one bedroom with a good sized kitchen, gas stove, living room, bathroom with full tub, bedroom, closet, and on-site washer/dryer. It got dad's seal of approval (his words: "it's so cute!"), and it's really close to school. Lord knows how long I've been doing the 45-60 minute commute without a car, so to be able to get to school in under 15 minutes is a dream! At this point, the only drawback is that it still kinda smells like new paint, but nothing a few candles can't solve!

I'll post pics later when I've settled in, but for now, here's one of the pics from the ad:

Another one bites the dust

Last night, us speechies went roller skating, and it was sooo much fun!! Apparently, every Friday night, our school's gym turns one of the basketball courts into a roller disco. And the best part, admissions and skate rental are free for UW students, awesome!! I definitely see a lot of roller skating in my future, especially now that I have my own skates, hehe. (sorry for the picture quality. I forgot my camera, and all I had otherwise was a phone)

that's how we roll

I've given it some thought and while the idea of being in roller derby sounds pretty badass, I think my ultimate goal is jam skating, haha! I won't lie, I watched and actually enjoyed Roll Bounce. And I suspect I skate better to a beat anyway because I ignore the possibility of falling and just start bopping (mind you, last night, this resulted in many a face plant...). I don't have the muscle tone for such an endeavor, but hey, everybody's gotta start somewhere.

But just for shits & giggles, if I ever did roller derby, I already have my persona picked out:

Introducing... the Cunning SLINGuist! She's [+badass] and [-shit] cuz she don't take no shit from NOBODY!

hrmmm...

Last night, P's boyfriend called me to "remind" me of the Sounders final this Tuesday. I was totally caught off guard because I hadn't realized I was going to that... but apparently, they bought me a ticket, probably as a friendly gesture and probably as a thank you for taking them to their first Sounders game a few weeks back.

As nice as it was for them to do that, the more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. Weeks ago, he had contacted me about it and I really don't remember ever telling him I wanted to go. In fact, I said I didn't because (1) I may have a lot of school work (which I do, as I had anticipated), (2) I may be in the process of apartment hunting/moving (which I am, as I had anticipated), and (3) I wanted to save money because at the time, V & I were planning on going to Arcade Fire. The third option didn't go through, but in my mind, that money I saved "not" going to the game nor Arcade Fire, we were gonna spend on a couple of shows at the Showbox that we really wanted to go to.

Now I'm in this predicament where I grin & bear it, set my stuff aside and go, or come off like an ass and tell them last minute that I can't go after they bought me a ticket. I can't decide what to do and thinking about this annoys me more & more, but I don't want to get to the level of resenting them. This is probably an easy issue or light matter to deal with, but still, I hate being in this position.